In this issue:
Recently I have been asked about “being perfect” in training and how we can achieve it. I believe that this question is based on a misunderstanding of the saying, “the perfection of Zen.” The question itself reveals that, without realizing it, people default to what the dictionary defines as perfection: “make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible.” Right away we can see that this orientation is setting us up for suffering, because it is creating ideals of perfection that, being human with faults and defects, we can never attain.
The Sandokai teaches that we “compound delusion by following ideals.” Delusion arises when we believe we are separate from the Eternal, and this false sense of separation arises when we think we do not achieve some set of ideals that would unite us with the Eternal. The purpose of training is to help us unblock our self-judgmentalism and live in the flow of the love and compassion of the Eternal.
We do not begin life with a set of “ideals”—they are conditioned into us by our family and culture and our religious indoctrination. In an article on the Sandokai, Rev. Master Jiyu wrote, “We are sensitive to the Cosmic Buddha as babies, but we are carefully educated out of that sensitivity.” The longing for that harmonization with the Eternal never goes away, “So we are striving to get back to the Cosmic Buddha, but all we can come up with are ideals.”
We train because our True Heart longs for reunion with the Eternal, but our egocentric self gets in the way because it operates from a place of separation. And this ego-blockage often manifests as fear: fear that if we do not “get it right,” then we will lose the love of both man and the Eternal. Some examples for training might be: “I must meditate X number of hours a day; I must sit cross-legged on a cushion—no matter how painful— for ‘authentic’ meditation; I must do everything perfectly in ceremonies or other trainees will think less of me…”. Usually the must we impose on ourself is an idealized striving for an undefined perfection that we cannot meet. And when we inevitably fail to meet the high standards we have imposed on ourself to be a “good trainee,” we feel depressed and disheartened and think, “I’m not good enough to do this training, why bother?” Ego wins.
Note what is missing in all this striving: a heart that is open to the Eternal; a heart that says, “I cannot do this alone, please help!”—A heart that surrenders its grasping, closed-fisted, ego-based willfulness and becomes open-handed willingness. Striving is prideful effort. Right Effort is imbued with humility: “I am not perfect, and I do not know what perfection is, but I do know this longing to be one with my True Self, and I know that this training will help me.”
All this is not to say that we need not do our best in training. In another article Rev. Master Jiyu wrote, “No one expects you to become perfect but there is room for improvement in all of us…. But perfection is something at which we work, it is not something that we can ever completely achieve–hence there is nothing but endless training for the trainee, and no one ever says he is either enlightened or not enlightened–he just goes on in his endless training, doing the best he can.”
Ultimately, it is our practice of Zen—our training in meditation and the Precepts—that opens us to realize the perfect compassion, love, and wisdom of the Eternal. And since the Eternal manifests in everything, we see Its purity in everything, including our own humanity.